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How to Handle and Avoid Breakups


A breakup is one of the most difficult things anybody can face, it is one of the most emotionally demanding experiences. Many people believe that you have to learn things through negative experiences but it is not usually true. It is easier to avoid breakups than to handle them when it happens.

How to avoid breakups

  1. Enter the relationship for the right reasons: When you enter a relationship for the wrong reason then you are setting yourself up for a breakup. I have seen a lot of ladies who say they want to enter a relationship just because all their friends are in relationships and they feel left out. This is the worst decision anyone can ever make because of most of the time, it never works out.
  2. Be ready and mature for a relationship: Attain a level of maturity before making a decision on relationships. Like they say, age is nothing but a number, therefore your age should not be a determining factor for starting a relationship. Make sure you understand yourself very well so it’ll be easy to pick the right person.
  3. Know the person well enough: Take time to study and know the person’s character before deciding on starting the relationship. If you rush into a relationship without properly knowing the person, you will rush out the same way. Knowing the person helps you determine if both of you are compatible. For instance, you meet someone who is an extreme extrovert and you also have the same temperament. You both will face difficulties in the relationship later. So its better to know the person very well so as to avoid breakups.
  4. Get counsel: Get someone you can always talk to who has more experience than you if possible a married person who has been married for a long time and you see that the person has a successful marriage. Counselling and mentorship helps you define your relationship and achieve your relationship goals.
  5. Make sure there is a lot of communication: Some people break up because they don’t tell themselves the truth. One person might be happy while the other is sad and they both don’t know how they feel because of lack of communication. Ask your partner how he or she feels, ask if they are happy.
  6. Take time to pray about your relationship: successful relationship happen as a result of some little things that we do such as prayer. It is even more effective if both parties are in agreement in prayerm the result is always awesome. You can avoid breakups when both of you are in agreement.

When is it ok to break a relationship?

  1. If you entered for the wrong reason.
  2. When the relationship is abusive verbally or physically: Please run if your partner is abusive. Don’t wait for them to change.
  3. When it is obvious that there is no more trust: Your partner becomes secretive and unnecessarily fidgety when you want to check things like their phones.
  4. When there is obviously no more love.
  5. If there is no more peace within you: When you are no more comfortable with the relationship. This could be a spiritual thing.

How to deal with a broken relationship

  1. Accept it and let it go: Do not linger when a relationship is broken up. Do not hold on to what does not exist. Consciously make efforts to forget about what happened so that you can move on.
  2. Do not hurt yourself: The worst thing you can do to yourself is hurt yourself. There are 6 billion people in the world so why do you want to beat yourself over just one. Remember better people will always come around after this one so keep your head high and enjoy life.
  3. Don’t fight the person: It is very difficult to go through a breakup but its importance for you to forgive the person so you can get closure.
  4. Surround yourself with loving and sincere friends and family: having your close frieends and family around will help your healing process. But do not hold a pity party, it just may get worse.
  5. Move on and get involved in interesting activities and get busy: hang out more, go to places you have always wanted to go. Take short vacations if you can. Leave your current city and experience a different environment.
  6. Learn from the mistakes and experience: Evaluate yourself to determine where it went wrong and learn form the evaluation. You are most likely not to make the same mistakes again.
  7. Avoid jumping into another relationship as a rebound: Give yourself time to be properly healed. Another relationship should not even be on your mind. Be single and happy with yourself.
  8. Discontinue communication: It is tempting to want to still remain friends with your ex but I suggest you avoid talking to the person until you are sure you have moved on.
  9. Note the reasons why you broke up in the first place: You may need to write it down as a reminder. From time to tim bring out the reminder and read it so that you do not repeat what happened in your next relationship.

Featured image credit: www.chastityproject.com


Chinye Onwamaka is a professional makeup artist and fashion consultant based in Lagos Nigeria. She writes about fashion, beauty and relationship tips for young people.

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